Goodbye surfer boys

Today i’ll say goodbye to an old pattern of me.

 

Some time before i fell in love with many guys. Especially the cool ones.

 

I am sure you know them.

 

They sit at the beach with their sun bleached curly hair and play beautiful lovesongs on their guitar.

But when it comes to say i love you they can’t.

 

 

They jump out of a plane and do a lot of crazy stuff in the air.

But when it comes to open up a bit and say that they are afraid of relationship and closeness, they can’t.

 

 

They ride down the craziest mountains with a bike and almost kill themself.

But when it comes to stay 2 nights a week together, they can’t.

 

Before i thought this is pretty cool.

Today i just think this is soooo yawn…

 

You’re a guy like this? Well that’s ok. I wish you all the best. But you don’t interest me anymore.

 

 

My new cool is a guy  who faces his problems.

His patterns.

A guy who is maybe so afraid of this rawness, but still wants to open up.

Someone who tells me all the stupid silly things he ever did, realising that maybe he’ll loose me.

A man who wants to find out more about his shaddows.

Someone who is maybe afraid to connect with his feelings, but still does it. And shows it.

A man who truly wants to learn more about himself and connect with his soul.

Pure, honest and raw.

Someone who is, even when he is fucking afraid, ready to say:

I want to let you in.

 

He doesn’t have to be enlightnened. I am neither.

 

But he has to be willing to face his shit.

 

Then i’ll be there for him, and he’ll be the coolest guy ever for me 🙂

 

 

 

♡stephania

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