now that I know what to do, it’s easy. at least it’s what I thought..
my biggest wish is to travel. but I feel a lot of fears. thoughts like: I have to finish my study. a job is needed, I want this security. deep inside I notice that this is not what I believe. but where do this thoughts come from? my family, or even society? or is it just an excuse to hold me back from making some serious decisions?
I keep on working and brush my travel ideas aside.* at this time, I eat a lot (not even vegan, what I originally do) because I have to fill the emptiness inside of me and bring my dream down. but it doesn’t work, even with yummy sweets and a lot of chocolate.
my first thought in the morning and the last before sleeping always is the same: explore the world.
and then, I read this sentence:
if you feel there must be more, there is more.
yes. there has to be more. more than this fake safety society tries to keep up. more than work every day to fund this luxury that makes me craving for more – and empty at the same time..
so, once more a decision has to be made. I quit my job and my study, also my apartment. everything I own I give away for free or for little money. I keep only things like a sleeping bag, hiking boots and so on.
I am afraid like crazy and don’t even know why. but like paulo coelho said:
“going after a dream has a price. but however costly it may be, it is never as high as the price paid by people who didn’t live!”
you’ll understand me that I tell this choice to almost everybody.
I get are interesting.. people look at me with pleasure, some of them are inspired or look up to the decision I make.
but there are also people who explain themselves (oh cool you’ll do this. you know I can’t, because..) there is always a reason why you can’t..) and of course the gatekeepers are not missing. they laugh at me and make my ideas ridiculous.
but the most common sentence between non-travelers still is: you are running away.
you want to know my answer to this?
YES! I do!
from an unhappy life,
direction: my dream!!
*maybe you ask yourself why I didn’t try to go during my holidays. or take a timeout. well, I did. but I am not that kind of human. it’s not my character to make compromise for my life.